A Divine Scope of Hope

A Divine Scope of Hope

I can’t shake it, I just feel blue.  Everyone in the family is healthy (as well as can be expected), wealthy (but then again, could always use a few more dollars, who wouldn’t?!.) and wise (some are more feather-headed than others, but that comes with the territory!)  My dearheart greets me with a kiss, sweet and affectionate, and talks with me plainly and earnestly.  Yet, I feel like I’ve been encountering bad news from every side, pressing in on my spirit, suffocating me, not releasing a situation or event before another wave crashes in, submerging my heart again.

It’s not a loss of self esteem or an undefined depression, it’s not related to hormonal changes or severe criticism but it is something which has lasted longer than usual.  Not dissolved into tears, or explosively angry, not openly pessimistic but I have detected a cynicism which is not welcome by me.   Everyone has their days, you know the ones, when you don’t quite feel like yourself.  You are able to follow through the motions of your obligations and responsibilities, but there is a lower level of passion or enthusiasm connected with what you do.  They are generally unbelievably brief for me, rarely if ever lasting more than ½ a day, but this is different.

Like Christopher Robin leafing through his storybook following the forewarning of a storm, I sing with him and Winnie the Pooh, “I’m just a little black rain cloud…”

Teachers on strike as of August 28.  The newspaper (man do I hate the newspaper anymore!) alerting us of our school administration’s negotiation breakdown with the teacher’s contract.  Strike announced since been without a teacher’s contract for a year and a freeze on the contract for three years prior.  Alert notice taken and substitutes put on call for such planned strike to take effect on school day #1.  Whattamess!  And these entities have spent the last 6 weeks refusing to talk with each other because of what they “might say” so they have spent this precious summer avoiding the important stuff of contract talks on listing agenda which will be appropriate or inappropriate to talk about.

Burial of three area servicemen who sacrificed their lives in this current war, none of them over the age of 25.  Their honor and duty has preserved my freedom - yet their time on earth was far too short, this area missing the impact of their leadership and character.

It’s a challenge to be the vein of encouragement for such a small congregation.  More people in church has its own level of encouragement.

An area youth hockey coach has been arraigned for child pornography and internet solicitation of a minor.  Several counts.  Several months in a researched sting.  He would have been my son’s coach one day in the future.

I have a heavy heart for our community and for our contact in it.  When pouring ourselves into the vessel of reaching and needy lives, I need a divine scope of hope.  Echoing the words of the psalmist David, Psalm 27:13, I say with him, “I am convinced of this - I would have given up long ago if I had not seen the Lord of hope in the land of the living.”

A divine dose of hope.  A protection from the Holy Spirit.  An inspired and loving guidance – holy hearts are requesting your strength, Lord.  Imbue us with Your hope.

The Melody

The Melody

It wraps around my heart
With silky thread,
Clinging, ever so slightly.
This melody

It spins around my memory,
Capturing brief glimpses
Of what was,
This sentimental and melancholy melody.

It moves silently,
Yet arrives and defines
Today - what is,
This impassioned and lively melody.

Its gossamer boundaries
Clouding, but not preventing my view of
What has not yet come to pass,
This hopeful yet tentative melody.

This melody from the soul,
Everywhere I turn it
Captures my attention.

If I want to be anybody,
The someone God intended;
If I’m going to be
Encapsulated within His will
I need to stay awake and pay attention.

Pay attention to this rhythm
Pay attention to this meter
Pay attention to this conversation
Of give and take,
This melody,
This blessed and sacred melody
Christ in me – the hope of glory.

jsi

Secret keepers

There are many times in our lives we find ourselves being secret keepers. For friends. Relatives. Congregation. It is an awesome responsibility to be one who carries a secret. You know the part, not to blab! There are all kinds of secrets, and sometimes we are entrusted with the opportunities to carry a burden with someone. To be a silent support, "I know that you know that I know" or to be a release valve of confidence to help provide encouragement and courage for another who will need to share their dreaded secret. Sometimes, its a secret keeping that has a time limit - "I won't say anything until this appointed time, and if you don't I will". Sometimes our secrets are incredible, some are discouraging, but all of them require us to examine ourselves and see, what do we become when we carry a secret?
Are you someone who just can't hold it in - "Don't tell me, I can't keep it", or are you able to "put it in the vault?" Are you like a little gnat fly, buzzing aound, 'I know something I can't tell" or are you a tower of strength and security?
Some secrets I can't keep - my husband always knows what he is going to get for Christmas, always, not because he found it, but because I told him. When I knew I was pregnant, it wasn't information I could keep to myself because it was so present in my eyes (tears and joy). Confidential matters need confidential hearts, not loose lips.
How are you as a secret keeper?




I
have
a secret
I can’t tell ,
Yet as time goes
I cannot help but dwell
On the hidden, unexposed
Truth that I know. It sits and
It multiplies strength as it grows.
Try to forget it, no thing brings peace!
To tell just one heart, this clamoring may cease.
But what of this unadvertised, subterranean truth
If I release private thoughts, could it be so uncouth?
To have a someone, a trusted confidant and friend help
Share the burden, to protect and defend this classified, covert
Serendipitous thing. What could I do? Who could I bring to this
Circle of confidence, trusted, subdued, who will be just as careful and
Strong and true? Who is this hero, to share, strength renew – it is you?!.

whew

The Creation of Adam

“The Creation of Adam” by artist Michaelangelo Buonarroti
This is one of the panels depicting the Genesis creation account painted in fresco in the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel by Michaelangelo. One of the most famous portraits in Western art, this view is centered upon two hands – to the right the hand of God and to the left the hand of Adam. Inspired by the medieval hymn called Veni, Creator Spiritus, Michaelangelo painted this from the lyrics, asking the “finger of the paternal right hand to give the faithful speech, love and strength.”
This panel is an artistic rendering of the Scripture, not literal, but this rendering has very powerful and symbolic meanings. But it is the hands that capture me, inspire me, hold me. The focal point of the entire panel is the near contact between the fingers of the Creator God and those of Adam. God’s reaching hand – strong, vibrant, active, muscular. Adam’s inanimate hand – weak, not alive, inactive, limp.
There are several inches between these two hands, when examining up close to the surface of the ceiling fresco, but the visual perspective a person receives when examining from the floor is that the distance is minute, miniscule, a split hair apart.
It takes my breath away to contemplate God’s creative action.
Ruach. The breath of God.
Ruach – the creative breath of God, imparted to man, his creation made in His image.“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them.” Genesis 1:27.
“The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostril the breath of life. (ruach). Genesis 2:7
As I transfer myself into the portrait in Adam’s place, God reaching down to me with strength and I reach up to him with weakness I comprehend my inadequacy. Anything I am able to do I because of ruach, God’s breath of life in me. My reaching to Him is inadequate, unable to bridge the full distance. But He reaches to me, covering the distance, crossing the line of separation, giving me life daily. Reaching me, finding me, saving me, keeping me. Ruach, His breath in me, transmitting His character to me, a believer who reaches for Him. I cannot be like Him without His creative action in me.
Lord, breathe in my life, transform my heart, purify my intentions, make me holy.
Just breathe.

Memories of the heart

Memory makers on vacation
Remembering everything we needed and leaving at 5:00 a.m.
Making the trip from Ohio to Maine in 1 day - first time that has happened in more than a decade!  When you don't have diapers to change, it makes such a difference. 
Fitting in a smaller size summer clothes...sorry, I need to go clothes shopping, be back later!
Swimsuits everyday, ocean and pool
Getting help with sunscreen from youngest daughter and then having crazy sunburn from spots she missed.
Sunsets on the beach with the love of my life...what did I ever do to deserve a man like him?
Painting watercolors on the beach
Old friendships revitalized, new friendships kindled
No newspapers from home
Body surfing the perfect wave
Being a mermaid on the beach, buried in sand
Sand bocce
Finishing one knitting project and beginning another - new yarn!
All the clawmeat from the lobster in one movement - it was a thing of beauty!
Tickets for Boston Red Sox/Cleveland Indians game Monday night - close game Indians ahead through the 9th and a walk off homerun from the best in the game David Ortiz!  Whattagame!
Cookie Pizza
Four part harmony congregational singing - and not being the loudest voice
Holding hands with my 11 year old son, so inspired by the man he will be.
Soccer hair for the girls, no new hair style for five days
Everyone's blond highlights make my gorgeous brunetteness look even more out of place
Happy exhaustion at the end of each day
Blue ribbon at the Monmouth Fair for 32' 4" frying pan toss - a thing of beauty
Five U2 recordings from the library for the trip - like they were singing just for me
Two perfect parking spaces in lower Manhatten - and you thought they were extinct!
Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island visit with ferry ride to the islands
Empire State building visit and being scared to death by King Kong
The perfect New York hot dog
Yankees loss
School clothes for the whole gang
A fully loaded digital camera memory card, a smile on my face and a mountain of laundry - how do I let this happen to me everytime?  And the truth is in the cliche - there is no place like home.