As I unpacked my bag yesterday, I had to be near an electrical outlet, and not just the one which has two outlets open. Good grief, I needed the outlet that had the power cord multi-charger available. I'm going to take up most of the strip. Three years ago, I didn't even use a cell phone let alone own one, but those days seem a distant memory now. My cell phone needed charged desperately, its down to 1/2 bar; my palm pilot needed charged, as it was listed at 13% power. My laptop computer had just signaled me to immediately plug into an outlet as it had reached 8%...good grief I thought I turned it off before I zipped up that bag. I grab Dave's phone to make sure he gets charged up and plug in my camera so its internal battery will be full capacity tomorrow. Added to that is the rechargeable battery charger which prepares 6 AA for use and this power strip is maxxed out.

If I had an ipod, I think I could cause an electrical short in the house! Dave needed to find a different place to charge his laptop but that was primarily that he had some things to type and email...not the fault of the outlet or "charging station" as I have affectionately named it. He wants to videotape something tomorrow so the video camera is getting its battery juice capacity. Its rather embarrassing how many technological elements I am now carrying, working with and depending upon. Forget one power chord and I'm up a creek without a paddle. (And I wish that could only be a hypothetical description - missing one little piece of connection has wreaked havoc. Augh!)

My personal batteries have needed recharged and these past few days really brought the extra energy I have needed.

:accomplished tasks. Our Christmas sign-up week was met with advance thought, preparation, extra staples, extra helping hands and more chairs for an extended waiting room in the hallway. I had to miss three days of this years sign-ups (out of town, mandatory Annual Divisional Leadership Conference a.k.a. Officer Retreat), for the agency negotiations in our community who were doing their Christmas sign-ups were already selected for us, before we got here. Not everything went completely smooth or without glitches, but it was a good beginning to an involved and engaged season of generosity and need, ministry and joy. We will continue to take applications up through 12/12...(shhhhhh, be verwy, vewry quiet, lest those calendar avoiders overhear. When they try to lie and say they didn't know when Christmas was, I almost want to leave the room. Instead I pour a cup of coffee and let them know I know their lie is just a poor sounding explanation that bad things happen outside of their own control. Didn't know when Christmas was...hmmmm) And after 12/12 will be a waiting list, I actually take applications up until the day before distribution; it dawns on me know that my staff doesn't exactly know that yet. Monday will be a new day!

:sitting next to my sweetheart. So many times by the end of my week, I feel like Dave and I see each other coming and going more than right next to each other. Sometimes its the kid's schedule, sometimes its mine or his or the community, sometimes its the excessive flexibility ministry requires. But...some days it feels like Dave and I are like Clark Kent/Superman - never really in the same place, but everyone understands the other is somewhere nearby or will return soon. Our Officer Councils/Leadership Retreat gave us a chance to sit together, eat together, talk with friends, pray and worship together, ride in the truck next to each other, see a movie (oh, my ears are still blistered...why did I let them pressure me into Gone Baby Gone...never again) go to a restaurant. We shared more time together in those 2 1/2 days than we have in a month. There is a definite smile in my heart and on my face.

:Teaching from Esther. Bob Hostetler spoke and taught throughout the planned sessions primarily through Esther and his emphasis upon leading in the face of crisis, decisions within the face of fear, stability within the sea of uncertainty - he brought a good word from the Good Word. And he finalized his points with the illumination - we have been given the authority to do something about the wrongness/poverty/sin/brokenness we encounter. Bob is an inspiration and a motivation within the realm of God's ministry.

:watching an infant mold to mom's embrace. It is so inspiring to watch a young hearts simply shine with the inescapable wave of falling in love with the new baby in their life. What a privilege you shared with us all, to simply be able to watch this little life wrap himself through your hearts.

:throwing the letter away. I hate being away from my kids, even though I know a break is beneficial for all of us. With an aunt who was able to give her time for the evenings and mornings, dinner and bedtime, breakfast and bus times, everything had the possibility of running smoothly. But I still had to write the letter, the dreaded letter. I hate it when I have to write it, and I'm never in a good mood after I've done it. You know the letter...the one with each child's birthdate and social security number, accompanied by the insurance card. A list of your cell phone numbers, and the mileage from where we will be traveling. And the birthdate and full name and social security number of the person in whom the insurance is under. With directions how to get to the hospital. And legal guardianship authority to begin filling out any paperwork so that there would not need to be a delay in medical treatment. Once again, the preparation and writing of this letter was not needed and I could just sweep it into the trashcan, unapologetically, unsentimental. Good riddance.

:a book finished. Not for study or for assignment, but just for the sheer pleasure of reading. I have been reading about 300 pages a week, mostly for Master's classes. But yesterday I finished Jane Eyre (3rd time with the gem, and still things to learn and gain) and felt like I completed something very stabilizing.

:a trip to the library. Every one got three books and this afternoon was rainy outside so we sat and lounged and read.

:affirmation. It is so amazingly empowering to hear a trusted confidante say the words, "You are right, this is not your imagination, you are not wrong..."

:gingerbread house competition. A. and I will put in our application for the community Gingerbread house competition, and we searched this afternoon for the perfect recipe.

:hearing the piano from around the corner. I am happy to do the dishes as my daughter is playing her recital piece. It keeps a song in my heart, and I don't care if I have dish-panned hands to show for it.

My batteries, my private inner batteries are recharged and replenished tonight. God's blessing is deep and wide.

The temperatures are colder and the foliage in our yard begins to glimmer through its new wardrobe in jewel tones of crimson, gold, amber and flaming orange. They have caught my attention throughout the day: in the early morning as we left the house and again late during sunset as we returned at the end of a full day. There are different trees in our yard, each turning according to their seasonal pattern, some holding tightly to their still-green leaves as others have already released their temporary treasures. Strangely, there are two trees, both trunks shooting out from the same place in the ground and they have the exact same conditions to grow from. They are exactly the same type of tree. They were planted in the same year, so they are exactly the same age. They get exactly the same amount of sun, rain and soil nutrients. And yet, even with their identical conditions, one has remained green with leaves and the other has turned golden and dropped every leaf.

October's poplars are flaming torches
lighting the way to winter.
- Nova Bair
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This October night has a sky that is spotless clear and the autumn air has a chill in the evening, persuading the bare shoulder to reach for the nearest sweater or jacket. The movement of the seasons steps gingerly through these harvest weeks, ensuring the calendar journey is one step farther from summer and one step closer to winter. I stand in my backyard, entranced by the size of the moon – it is enormous! It seems as if it fills the entire sky, spilling out its moonglow brightly. It is not quite a full moon, that won’t happen until October 26.

The oceans on the moon are so visible tonight, these mares so romantically and beautifully named by Galileo: the Sea of Serenity, the Sea of Clouds, the Sea of Rains, the Sea of Ingenuity, the Sea of Fertility, the Sea of Cold. Directly across from each other one can observe the Sea of Tranquility directly across from the Sea of Crises. These lunar regions have encountered nearly identical exposure to the meteors which have pummeled the moon’s surface. Because of the orbit and axis the moon travels upon and within, these regions are exposed to the sun in the identical time period. Galileo links these two moon oceans together, Tranquility and Crises.

Tranquility and Crises.

I cannot overlook the poignancy of the elements I see before me. God weaves tranquility into our lives, tranquility in the face of crises. Some circumstances can bring out strength from us (green leaves on the branches) and others can make us almost unwind (golden leaves in a pile at the foot of a tree), even though we haven’t left our faith. When we turn to God and rely upon Him as our Rock, our Guide, our Shield, our Strength, He brings a calmness of heart and mind in the throes of a violent storm.

We can see within the heart of the crises that there is a divine heart of Tranquility which is unmoved, unscathed, undisturbed, unintimidated. God is faithful, endlessly faithful to us, providing serenity in the midst of crises. These two experiences are linked together, peace and panic, and are held within the hand of the Master Creator of our lives.

One thing I ask of the LORD, that I will seek after; to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in His temple. For He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble; He will conceal me under the cover of His tent. He will set me high on a rock. Psalm 27:4-5

Bidden or Unbidden

Looking within the pages of notes, study material and unpublished lectures of the medieval scholar Erasmus, a phrase rings out plainly into the cacophony of today’s pounding life with its unrelenting pace and unyielding schedule of obligations:

“Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus ad erit.” Latin
“Bidden or unbidden, God is present.” English

Psychologist and theologian Carl Jung was captured by this phrase and the depth of its meaning for the world. God is always there, whether we asked for Him or not. Jung had this Latin phrase carved and bronzed and hung it over his home entrance, a physical reminder of God’s tangible availability. This plaque served as a lifetime memorial about his conviction, his heartfelt passion that there is nowhere a person can run that is away from God. It is also present on his tombstone as an epitaph.

“Invitado o no invitado, Dios está presénté.” Spanish
"Chiamati o inopportune, Dio e presente." Italian

We may sometimes forget that we don’t have to invite God into our lives…He is already present, in the midst of happiness and joy, trouble and strife, grief or blessing, life or death. There is no obstacle to high or deep that keeps God away from the problems we encounter.

“Appelés ou injustifiées, Dieu est present French
"Genannt oder unangebracht, Gott ist." German

Whether we call upon God, cry out to Him in help or in praise, God is working in us and through us an all around us. God’s divine activity is traceable, His hand within our lives, plans, footsteps.

When welcoming a brand new child, God is there.
When facing the grief of losing a child, God is there.
When experiencing personal fulfillment, God is there.
When experiencing the blackness of depression, God is there.

The question has never been “Where is God in all of this?” But instead the question remains, “Are we paying attention to what God is doing?”

Bidden or unbidden - God is present. Vocatus atque non vocatus, Dues ad erit.

When a hungry stranger receives food, God is there.
When a lonely widow is welcomed into the city, God is there.
When people work for peace and struggle for justice, God is there.
When we witness courage and bravery, God is there.

When someone is rescued from a flooded street, or when a bomb in the heart of the city is defused and made safe, God is there.

When a child is carefully instructed and taught, God is there. When anger is irrational and bullets are flying and strength and bravery offer protection, God is there. And though it may be hard for us to accept, even when people are trapped and terrified in an airport, God is there too.

Reach up and reach out and claim the presence of God, who is right there with you, every step of what you are doing. Extending our hands out to man require that we must, absolutely must keep our hearts extended to God.

Bidden or unbidden – God is present.

“Great are the works of the LORD, they are pondered by all who delight in them. Glorious and majestic are His deeds, and His righteousness endures forever. He has caused His wonders to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and compassionate.” Psalm 111:2-4

Laugh 'Till I'd Cry

http://www.kingsfeatures.com/features/comics/fwinker

http://www.fbofw.com/timetravel

"A good cartoonist is one who can make people laugh. A great cartoonist is one who can make people laugh in the midst of fear, sadness, and uncertainty."

— Regina Brett, breast cancer survivor
and president of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Without apologies, I will confess my daily scan of the paper always includes a quick skim of the front page for headlines, a little check to the obits, a look inside the sports section for box scores of my favorite teams (Go Red Sox – great game! Go Indians-annihilate the Yankees!) It takes all of 4 minutes, to see what is there, what will require my attention later, and then what I love – the comics. I love reading the comics, and like anyone have my favs. I usually use the Sunday funnies, since they are in color, as birthday giftwrap. So many different ones have come and gone, yet I am still a devoted Prince Valient reader every Sunday. I miss my Far Side fix - it isn’t printed anymore. I used to decorate my covered textbooks in high school with different Far Side scenes – there was always so much in them. And Calvin and Hobbes, they could make me bah-hah outloud, hilarious in the investigation of a sarcastic little boy handling subjetcs like atheism, creation, life as we know it and the depth of friendship as life's deepest treasure. The Wizard of Id and Family Circus, Blondie’s curvy girl figures and Beetle Bailey’s antagonistic Sarge, Cathy’s power struggles with her mother, Ziggy and Charlie Brown – they are all small windows of wisdom, silliness, poignant frames of philosophy and thought-filled introspection.

Some have had a different importance at different times in my life than others, like identifying with a sleep-deprived again-pregnant mother in Baby Blues who is desparately seeking a bathroom with her baby and toddler in tow, and a sales clerk generously offers the staff bathroom “because its important to help a little one get to a potty”…but it the Mommy who’s bladder was ready to explode! How true, how true – I knew every bathroom in town when pregnant with K, and the other three helped me get extra understanding for the “little ones” as trying so hard to change that diaper as fast as I could so I could use the potty myself. Crankshaft shows a cantankerous side of aging, with humor, understanding and defense for some of the details that younger people often don’t see. Garfield and Jon never seem to ever get past the same power struggles, but they are always cute.

Do you have any favorite comics, the ones you are always looking for first?

In the 1970s there were two strips that started out new, and as a very young reader they caught me in their stories right away with the fact that they passed in what you were able to gauge as “real time”. Unlike the perpetually young Charles Schultz characters or Family Circle toddler family, Funky Winkerbean (1972) and For Better or For Worse (1978), these characters went to the next grade in school, celebrated a next birthday. The kids grew up, got jobs, got married; people took promotions, moved away, came back. I really liked how life marched on in the comic strips, young girls became young women, boys developed into men, moms and dads struggled with holding on and letting go. They became a set of 2 dimensional friends who sometimes expressed exactly how I felt about war or children or balancing justice with mercy, the impact of forgiveness and the complete need for love. For Better or For Worse has addressed within the multi-generational Patterson family the necessity for courage – for the things you want (a true love) and for the things you fear (retirement) all the while mixing in the beauty of watching mom brush her hair in the wind or the perils of living with a large dog. But those subjects were not the only ones – Funky Winderbean may have brought us all Harry L. Dinkle, The World’s Greatest Band Leader of Westview High, but he also brought out the subjects of teen pregnancy, gang peer pressure, dyslexia, teen dating abuse, and breast cancer.

This morning, both strips are facing new ground. For Better or For Worse has included the additional stroke of Elly’s elderly father. Simultaneously the characters find themselves hoping for returned health and facing the reality of impending death. Lisa Moore, in Funky Winkerbean, died within her many-years struggle with cancer. Lisa as a cartoon character was diagnosed with cancer the first time at the same time my best friend was diagnosed with lung cancer – and Tom Batiuk’s insight was profound during that very angst-filled time. His poignancy brought profound understanding within a subject that frequently wasn’t discussed. I miss my friend who lost her battle with cancer in mid 2005. My tears have been present every morning for months as Tom Batiuk, cartoonist and cancer survivor, has shown within the framework of "Lisa's story".

The return of Lisa's aggressive breast cancer after a long remission. Chemotherapy. Surgery. The dark thoughts a person has when facing the death of someone they love. Not a depressing story, but one which includes depression of the caregiver. The cartoonist does not abrasively gloss over important issues, but carefully shines a light on important concepts: although Lisa was the one who was dying, it was her husband who was sick. He was in need of help, attention, someone to remove the alcohol from his hands, to talk straight to his heart in his hurt.

Though painful in their subject content, their stories are hopeful, showing how loving couples treat each other under all circumstances. So this morning with my coffee, my tears are there, recognizing the hurt that envelopes a family in the face of cancer, and knowing the future posssibilities these hand drawn friends may face within their next storyboards in the future.

Goodbye Lisa and thank you. You've made me laugh until I'd cry.

Small Surprises, Giant Blessings

These past three weeks have included so much, packed in tight and full, like fragrant sausages ready to burst out of their skin. It hasn't been a schedule that is out of hand or excessive mileage or meetings. Time management, communication, understanding and flexibility have attended to everything that has come along. Some days got a little hairy, and I love being able to rely upon my terrific husband when it all needed tamed. Whether it was a doctor's visit 4 counties away or a forgotten library book, a missing trumpet mouthpiece or "the exactly right sweater I wanted to wear with this outfit", an important Advisory Board meeting or community event, there was place and time for everything and things are running smoothly.

In reflection, this fullness comes from the small surprises, giant blessings and the gentle communion with the Spirit that has been present:

: a birthday party for my youngest son, N. - he's 9, my little man, and this was the year for his friend party. We alternate years - family party, friend party, sleep over, movie party - to rotate celebration styles and enjoy each other as best we can. (And face it, to equalize and regulate the amount of money that goes into it! Birthdays can get so expensive so quick! And in our household we have 2 birthdays in 8 days time. That is usually only one pay check, so there are no gala blow-outs, skating rink renting, catering-out-the-wazoo celebrations. Hey, time stands still for your birthday, you get to eat breakfast from the birthday bowl, have your favorite dinner with soda to drink, your choice of cake and fun and games at home - where birthdays are the most creative and involved, and affordable.) I do love celebrating birthdays, and enjoy making a cake (N. wanted racecars, and if I have to say so, mine turned out tasty, delicious and looked lightning fast!) Last September, when we lived in a different appointment (which we had been in for 2 years - plenty of friend making possibilities) N.'s party was family - and we didn't dream there would be any moving on the horizon. Yet as the horizon got closer, the moving reality was present and affected many things. N.s friend party now brought a level of mommy horror - do I warp our family celebration expectations and traditions and underline and accentuate a feeling that has been floating under the surface for all of my children? Do we not have a friend party because we just don't have many friends in this area? Do we travel 2 1/2 hours north to a city we don't live in anymore to host a party with his old friends, his best lifetime friends? So...the answer is...no...we invite the entire class at school! (Let me say, the feeling of "What have I done" was coming in waves after he left on the bus for school...what have I done?!. Is there a way I can take it back - univite 28 kids...oh good grief.) Neighborhood, corps and classroom added up to over 40 invitations...what if they all came? I wasn't breaking a sweat, I won't brag or gloat : I feel confident about engaging with and entertaining large groups of kids, so we were set for every single one to come. Birthday arrives with balloons and preparations, and there were 18 kids who came. I admit it willingly...it was on my prayer list for more than 10 days...and I don't feel shallow or trivial..."Lord, please let there be more that 10 kids who can come to N. party. PPLLEEAASSEE!" After the whole day was over and we were cleaning up from limbo, musical chairs, pinata, etc. the tears of relief were so close to the surface, I couldn't ignore the feeling of the heartfelt burden lifted, "Thank you Lord, for new friends for N....thank you...thank you...thank you!"

: I play orchestral french horn and try to play in as many orchestras as I can. I do not have the availability or opportunity to keep a full time gig and play the 75 concerts and rehearsals which an orchestra can prepare, I cannot be a fulltime musician. But I have found a very fulfilling playing opportunity subbing for different orchestras. You know, filling in for someone who is unable to be at that rehearsal or performance. Yet to do that, to get on that list of callers, you must audition, give a hearing, and have the appointed orchestral excerpts prepared and ready to display to perfection. September brought one of these auditions and I practiced for it for 6 weeks. So in the midst of different meetings, responsibilities, dinner and programs, a prevalent ribbon of horn 2 and horn 3 parts of Mozart, Mahler, Dvorak and Shoshtakovich was winding through my days. My office manager learned many of the excerpts and could tell the difference between Beethoven and Strauss...so I consider a huge accomplishment has happened - the music teacher in me is satisfied!. So audition day comes, and I play with about 40 other horns for horn 2 and horn 3, and I played well. I was stinking nervous!!!! I didn't get horn 2 or horn 3 - and I didn't want them. The rigorous preparation process helped underscore for me that I am not made of the cut-throat essence that an orchestral musician requires. I am so opposite on the spectrum - I want everyone to feel as encouraged and confident as possible. Some of that is the mommy in me, but most of it is just the rose-colored glasses wearing, spunky, cheerleader that sees the best in everything and everyone. I invited three other horn players to the audition, for their chance to win the position. I spent the afternoon talking with other horn players, not avoiding all contact with whoever might be positioned as "my competition". I played well, they listened to all my excerpts without calling out for the next horn player to come in (truly my deepest fear). Yet in the middle of the morning - horn 2 auditions- my oldest son T. had an insulin emergency at grandma's. Needing to slip out and rush back, I know that God is using me, exactly where I am with every talent and capability He has entrusted me.

: every single book for each of my M.Div classes this semester were available from the library and I can check them out for 25 weeks. I don't have to buy a single text! I am over 1/2 done with this degree, and having a textbook free September really made back to school, outgrowing hockey skates, 2 birthdays not such a dramatic hit to the wallet.

: Since I work with my husband, I can shut the door and get a kiss anytime I want.

: being a witness to a transformation of heart, body, soul and mind. Few things are as inspiring to me as the transformational process in a person.

:reaching a real person on the other end of the phone, not needing to leave a message.

: my mother's surgery has relieved the pain she has had for months, and her recuperation time is showing healing and strength. What did I make for her - soup and tea. Doctor's should prescribe it!

: sharing coffee with another officer, in the middle of a challenging day for the both of you. (Thanks for lunch Sue, I'll bring you coffee - cream and sugar- anytime!

: there were 25 people in church for worship in Holiness meeting, and 17 in Sunday School. Please don't read those numbers as being tiny, there were 3 people in church in July. Having 25 in church for you may seem like everyone is on vacation, sick or causing a riot, but 25 for us brings an extra wind of spiritual encouragement and validity within God's work. God's touch has brought out a caring spirit to this congregation, responding positively to encouragement and fellowship. I don't typically talk about corps details, the rebuilding process of a congregation following scandal can be painful, lonely and not terribly encouraging for the pastor and leadership involved. Two appointments in a row facing the repercussions of scandal is enough to drain the spirit. As I stepped into the pulpit this morning, there was someone sitting in every pew, children through seniors through elders, spread out but 25 hearts joining us in worshipping the amazing God who created us and keeps us.

"Little is much when God is in it,

labor not for wealth or fame,

there's a crown and you shall win it

when you go in Jesus's name."

My heart is full from little surprises and giant blessings. God is tremendously good.