Caved In

I have been praying for snow since October. It wasn't because I am a sentimental heart who dreams of powdery, wispy crisp and clear winter days with floating flakes to decorate the landscape with a clean blanket of white. (But I am a sentimental heart, and doesn't snow just make everything beautiful, eh?!.) It wasn't Bing Crosby tugging at my ear, making me "Dream of a White Christmas" or the thought of a day off school or snowball fights and snowangels.

I wasn't desiring a more difficult volunteer experience for our kettle workers who all have to stand outside except for one store. No, the mild December brought about many terrific things - we were able to have 2 kettle volunteers for every stand (I didn't have to stand a single day) every day, and actually had too many people who wanted to help (an amazing blessing) and needed to search for more places that would allow us to stand. No this mild winter allowed these generous hearts to be able to stay healthy, maintain their stamina - they didn't freeze to the center of their being, so they had more to be able to give the next day. No, December with 50 degree weather was a good thing.

I wasn't praying for snow so that it would be a harder month for our 12 passenger van, whose days were numbered and being replaced. The destitute thing already needed jumped more than once a week, even with the engine and battery replaced - it was on the "DO NOT RESUSITATE" list of the mechanic's care bay. He would turn the corner with that look in his eyes that said, "You're going to have make some choices, so gather the family together and get Chevy's affairs in order." A harsh December would have brought about Chevy's demise sooner than needed - a December in the 50s kept Chevy off of life support so no one who have to be placed in the position of pulling any inhumane plug.

I wasn't praying for snow so that California would lose 1 billion dollars in fresh produce (I did run to the store and get another bag of oranges before the Kroger price sky rockets), I'm going to really miss that slice of avocado on my bacon sandwiches. A BALT sandwich just isn't the same without the A. I wasn't praying for snow so Texas would get creamed or the the southern states would feel the winter wrath.

December in the 50s meant my husband didn't catch the flu because we had been to every hospital and nursing care unit in the county. He didn't have to chop the ice off the sidewalks and driveways and parking lots of our many houses and buildings. (But that also means he didn't get a chance to use his snow blower, which though it always means its cold, he just loves!) He didn't need to be covered in salt and devote 45 extra minutes every morning to making sure everyone was going to be safe when they stepped on any of our properties.
November and December in the 50s was a very good thing all around...

...except one.

As I opened the letter from the insurance adjuster, it described exactly what I was looking at. They understood perfectly and it was there in black and white, "Ceiling caved in; water damage extreme. Future damage expected. Continuing claim."

I had been praying for snow since October because our two corps building have several dramatic leaks...one of them has a roof that is likened to swiss cheese. That is the one you see here. This isn't the worst property mess you have ever seen - guaranteed there are worse. But it is a fact of life, this is something which needs immediate attention. The ceiling creaks when the wind blows, a big thing is going to happen soon. More coming down - a certainty. Some staying up - a hope. As you can tell from the top picture, there is more that will be coming down, and the weather has all the power about when that will be. Our insurance protector is emphatic about the safety which is required "Don't use that entrance, don't retrieve anything from that upper room, live without what ever is up there, tell your realtor not to show this building for a while."

My property prayer has been for snow, a freeze, and it is right now, yet each day as the sun comes out, and takes the ice from the driveway and sidewalk, removes the few flecks of snow which came from the night before, I pray, "Please let it grow cold again, please keep a freeze."

Have you experienced parts of your life when your personal ceiling - your support, your protection, your identity - was caving in from the trauma of grief or pain or loss or brokenness? Can you look at that picture and say, "I know exactly how it feels to be caved in. Crashing down."?

When life happens, and circumstances go different than planned and the result brings a caved in ceiling of the heart, we don't have to rely upon someone who will answer from far away with news we already know. God is with us, holding firmly the tender heart which is bruised and hurting.

When your ceiling has caved in and all you can look at are broken pieces and future pain, hold onto God. Maybe the only prayer you can muster is "I need you" - He is there. The cave in might be from things that we have caused - His examination will not withhold His love and forgiveness just because we caused the damage. God is more than able to accomplish what concerns you today.

Psalm 119:49-50, "Remember Your word to this servant, for You have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise, O Lord, preserves my life."

verse 3 How Firm a Foundation

As words from the LORD God Almighty

When through the deep waters I call you to go, the rivers of sorrow will not overflow,
For I will be with you, your problems to bless and sanctify to you your deepest distress.

Hold onto God, with all you've got, even though the pieces of your personal ceiling are scattered on the floor at your feet. God has been there with you before it came crashing down, He is there right now and will remain. Hold on in faith HE IS WITH YOU.